15 Sadly Hilarious Christian Breakup Lines

Breaking up is hard to do … unless of course, you have God on your side!

We know, there are plenty of good reasons to break up with someone—and many may actually be spiritual or theological. But we also know how some people in Christian circles tend to use “God” as an easy way out of awkward situations.

While there’s plenty of ways to, uh, twist God’s Word to fit your current situation, we feel like we should advise to not use Scripture to break up with someone. That being said, here are a few hysterical — kind of depressing but still hysterical — ways to break up with someone.

1. “I think we should just be prayer partners.”

2. “It’s not you, it’s Jesus.”

3. “I do love you, but it’s only an agape type of love right now.”

4. “Last night, it got a little too secular for me.”

5. “At the rate I’m growing spiritually, you’ll never be able to catch up.”

6. “You’re my sister (or brother) in the Lord, and I just don’t feel right about dating my sister.”

7. “I’m modeling my life after Jesus, and he was celibate.”

8. “God loves me and must have a better plan for my life.”

9. “I’ve read C.S. Lewis’ Four Loves and you’re not one of them.”

10. “I feel like Peter: I used to walk on water when I thought of you but now I’m sinking and just need to get back into the boat.”

11. “I’m sorry, it’s just not God’s will.”

12. “I feel called to the mission field. As far away from you and as soon as possible.”

13. “It could never work. I’m Arminian and you’re Calvinist. It’s like I chose you, but God chose me for you. It’s like you have no will in this relationship at all.”

14. “I think we should just be prayer partners.”

15. “I really want to get out of my comfort zone.”

Source: relevantmagazine.com